Carl Winslow's Corner: Free Meatus

Hey gang! It's your ol' buddy Carl Winslow! Long time no ssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...




Derangement has re-nestified in my skull, folks. Gotta keep the turban on or else rat-thoughts spill out of my ears like wild rice. I just paid a visit to the sky doctor, LePete, and the outlook is very poor for ol' Carl. My symptoms are...

Collapsed left nostril.
Hazelnut-creme filled moles where my nipples should be.
Burning sensation when I shit piss...

Prognosis: Super lupus.

LePete prescribed a size 7 medicine hat and some cracker amulets, but that shit don't work. And he ate my fries when I went to the bathroom, too.

(sigh)

Been watching The Bozo Show on DVD. One episode over and over. Crystal forcefield protects my fridge. Haven't eaten in 11 days. I beat myself all across the head because of the hunger. Need to replenish or I'll die soon. My life flashes before your eyes...

Here's me as a young murder-honky...





Here's me dead...




Here's me midgetized...




Here's me in the astral realm. Met my wife there. Murdered her. Had to. Her neck was filled with circuits...





Oh yeah! I'm invisible. The freedom of invisibility allows me to stick things into other things. I can smoke PCP in the sewers freely. My love sprays forth. Chocolate sprinkles. For the first time in my life, I am content. Walk a mighty walk, Carl, for this is your day. Sleepy, though. Very tired. Asleep...

I'm awake again. This is a red and barren world. A place of torment. In the distance, a dark figure moves swiftly. A giant strobe light pulsates strongly in this realm. It's disorienting. And here come the whispers! What!? I don't believe in those ghosts! It tickles. My cargo shorts are soaked with a red liquid. My blood? No, it's just pigeon blood. Everything is alright. I just rained deathblows on some pigeons. Nothing new. Typical Thursday for Carl.




Other things to report...

1. Glass omelette turned nephew's insides into shredded garbage.
2. The price of slacks has risen.
3. I found a Chinasaur egg on the bus.


Glue glue sniff sniff, right? Simple beauty appears in the center of all things. Always.




CIA put a tracking chip in my arm. Loppin' it off tomorrow. Who cares? Not me.

That's all for today, Carl fans. Remember, I love you! Take my hand. Dream with me.