Tuesday, March 30, 2010

ChangeThat Diaper

I was walking down Milwaukee Avenue on another gray day in Chicago. My mission was to find a store that carried blue shoelaces. Little missions are good because they're easy to accomplish, and achieve results that are tangible and satisfying. Anyway, as I was walking around the neighborhood, I asked myself if I'd miss this place if I moved away. And my answer was... a little bit.

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I just got back from 18 days in Los Angeles. I feel confused and in limbo. I plan on moving to LA sometime in the next 6 months, because I really want to be an editor, and there are more opportunities for me to get a job out there. And because the weather is nice in LA, I can't use the "It's cold and miserable outside" excuse to stay in my cocoon.

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The goal of my westward trip was to lay some groundwork for my eventual move, take in some sun, and reconnect with a good friend of mine. I succeeded in the latter 2 goals. Getting people to return emails is rough. Getting people on the phone is fucking impossible. I have no delusions of instant success, but a little encouragement would've gone a long way. During my last week there, I kind of half-assed my attempts at getting sit-downs with editing folk. Bad habits and motivational issues stifling progress once again.

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Right now, Chicago doesn't feel like my home anymore. LA certainly didn't feel like home, either. But that could change. Perhaps I'm getting myself psychologically ready to abandon this city after 4-plus years of nothing special. Except the first year, which was really fun -- like Slip n' Slide fun.

My opportunities are elsewhere. I have no concrete ties here. No job. No girlfriend. The lease on my apartment ends in August. This is the perfect time for me to grow some balls and make a move. The only things giving me doubt-fits are leaving my family & friends, the shitty job market, possible failure, and the loss of my comfortable nest here in Chicago. Besides those things, I'm not worried...

...Hey, is it a bad sign that I already envision myself talking to somebody at a party 2 years in the future, acknowledging what a horrible mistake it was to move to LA?

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3 comments:

Pancake Master said...

I think just because it doesn't turn out to be exactly how you hope/want, it won't necessarily be a failure. But, I think it could very well turn out to be what you hope/want. Or, maybe what you hope/want will change, quickly or gradually. I don't know, I think you should goph'r it. WWPSD? (What Would Pope-Scrotes Do?)

Anonymous said...

you rock that's all, sadness is cool, European Baudelaire fan speaking

Rik no Orkut said...

Bom!