Bisou is a Dog

So I'm taking care of this puppy, you see. And she is the cutest little fluff of white fur you'll ever wrestle with. And I can't sleep, so I watch her sleep. And when she scratches her ears, her nails get caught in mats. And she looks at me, and I help her untangle. And she crawls up my chest and gratefully licks my face. And then I initiate a long conversation about personal boundaries. And she sniffs her crotch, triggering a mini sneeze. And I call my lawyer.