Sunday, January 18, 2009

Mornings with Drowsy Douche: Mega Lethargy

When one takes Dramamine because of an ill encounter with some Chinese food the night before, the sluggish effects carry on most of the day afterwards. Heavy-lidded and headache-hat wearing, I awoke yesterday at 2:45pm. Since Dramamine takes all the liquid out of one's stomach, I spent the day moistening my insides once more.


A wise man once told me that if the swimming pool is too cold, one must start a fire inside the skull. His name was Buttercup Slim and the more I think about him, the more I miss his gentle insanity. Why am I drawn to the insane? Probably because I'm super logical and often predict what someone is going to do or say when prompted. Insanity is an escape from this tired world of clarity and reason.

Most citizens behave generically... "Duh, I'm going to work. Buh, I'm buying a sandwich. P'nuh, I'm traveling in a motor car to a destination place." Despicable. Why can't they be more like senior citizens, minus the decrepitude? I want everybody all demented and full of memories. Sniffing cars and laughing at the sidewalk. Screaming about rice and sewer daughters.


What impresses me is the erratic and bizarre. For instance, if I were to ask someone on the street, "Hey! What's inside your oven?" They'd say "nothing" or "a cookie sheet". Predictable. Now, if they tell me there's a cocoon in the oven, and inside that cocoon is a baby viking, that's when things I start enough to care good about.


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