Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Andre The Giant

Born in 1946 to a Frenchwoman he would later devour, Andre "The Giant" Roussimoff would eat beehives and rip apart villagers throughout his childhood. As his pituitary gland continued to defy nature, he grew to be 7 and a half feet tall by the time he was in third grade. But smashing oxen and rolling boulders into the houses of his ancestors were not enough to satisfy Andre the Giant's tremendous bloodlust. He burst onto the professional wrestling scene in 1973 and the rest is history...

Andre loved having sex with cake towers
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In the 70's, it was fashionable to be friends with little De Niro (seen here in his Travis Bickle days)
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Andre hated the film Goldfinger, and he made sure to let Oddjob know
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Posing with Ricky Gervais during Gervais' brief wrestling career
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Here he is mocking Native Americans
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Andre hunted down Native Americans with merciless brutality, having cultivated his hatred after reading The Indian in the Cupboard as a child. Those that survived the bi-weekly hunts became his friends. Here he is with one of the three.
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Andre was a terrible chef. He couldn't even make spaghetti.
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Dreaming of lighting pregnant women on fire
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After his fight with Nelson Mandela in '83
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"But... I love you."
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"Look what happens to you when you take my Garfield book without asking!"
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His memories weighed 340 pounds
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Here he is "blending in"
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Andre passed away shortly after this picture was taken in '93. He is survived by his wife and a toilet that won't flush.
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1 comment:

Pook said...

This is probably the funniest thing you have ever made.