Iggy Pop Ape and Ladies' Night

I promised somebody I'd make this (no I didn't) and my word is bond:

(ape body belongs to Kanzi)


On a different note, I don't think this blog is getting the female readership I'm so obviously courting. Ladies probably don't cotton to my opinions on children, so I figure I should add some potpourri to this stinkhole, maybe light some candles, eat a lot of Ben & Jerry's, and let my feminine side gallop about like the unicorns of yore.

Many women have a natural affinity for children. It's true. And women also like men who like kids. True as well. And can you blame them? I mean, they are so cute, right? What with their small, human-like features, it's like you've summoned beautiful goblins that depend on you for crap. Women like goblins, too. It's a fact. Plus, with their pea-sized intellects, children are liable to say the funniest shit ever and not even know it.


Show your lady that you care about kids by building a playground



Women also love chocolate and sweets. This is because chocolate contains phenylethylamine - the same chemical that is released in your brain when you fall in love. The sweetness in chocolate triggers the release of endorphins, which creates a happy feeling. Endorphins are also responsible for the "runner's high". But don't tell your girlfriend, because she'll quit her daily runs and gorge on chocolate, acquire diabetes, lose a leg, and roll around in a wheelchair for 3 miserable years until she "accidentally" falls in the pool when no one is around... Here's some tasty cakes that'll make your girlfriend's mouth water.





(the last two cakes are from Auckland Cake Art)

That's all for now, my labia are killing me.