Thursday, July 31, 2008

Iggy Pop Ape and Ladies' Night

I promised somebody I'd make this (no I didn't) and my word is bond:
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(ape body belongs to Kanzi)


On a different note, I don't think this blog is getting the female readership I'm so obviously courting. Ladies probably don't cotton to my opinions on children, so I figure I should add some potpourri to this stinkhole, maybe light some candles, eat a lot of Ben & Jerry's, and let my feminine side gallop about like the unicorns of yore.

Many women have a natural affinity for children. It's true. And women also like men who like kids. True as well. And can you blame them? I mean, they are so cute, right? What with their small, human-like features, it's like you've summoned beautiful goblins that depend on you for crap. Women like goblins, too. It's a fact. Plus, with their pea-sized intellects, children are liable to say the funniest shit ever and not even know it.


Show your lady that you care about kids by building a playground
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Women also love chocolate and sweets. This is because chocolate contains phenylethylamine - the same chemical that is released in your brain when you fall in love. The sweetness in chocolate triggers the release of endorphins, which creates a happy feeling. Endorphins are also responsible for the "runner's high". But don't tell your girlfriend, because she'll quit her daily runs and gorge on chocolate, acquire diabetes, lose a leg, and roll around in a wheelchair for 3 miserable years until she "accidentally" falls in the pool when no one is around... Here's some tasty cakes that'll make your girlfriend's mouth water.
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(the last two cakes are from Auckland Cake Art)

That's all for now, my labia are killing me.

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