Thursday, October 16, 2008

Pssssst! Hey, Jesse Jackson!


Here's what he said. He essentially inferred that Barack Obama would change U.S. policy on Israel, ridding the United States from years of "Zionist" control. What a mensch, that Mr. Jackson is.

Do you know how easy it is to scare old Jewish people? Just go to a Jewish retirement home, and tell a group of them that you'd like to take them on a magical train ride. See how they react.

These people are the most paranoid, read between the lines conspiracy theorists out there. And like a lot of old people in America, they are stubborn and a little racist. Give them half a reason to be scared and they will be. Black guy? Rumors that he's a Muslim? Ahhhh!!! All Bubbies report to the bomb shelter!!!

If you put a newspaper in front of them with the headline "Free Money for All Seniors" across the top, they'd say, "Bullshit! Those Palestinians and Germans don't have me fooled. The money is poisoned somehow. And these bagels are lousy! Marry a nice Jewish girl already so you can be like us... miserable."

Any waves you make regarding Israel, real or fake, will set off their Hebrometers. Florida is a swing state filled to capacity with old Jews. Why would you want to hand that state over to McCain because of rumors, rather than help a fellow black man who shares a lot of your political viewpoints, Mr. Jackson? Go push a rainbow, asshole.

But there is an outside chance that he did not actually say the remarks attributed to him. It was the New York Post that quoted Jackson. Not a very reputable newspaper, and very right wing (notice the Jewish conspiracy gene working). But Jesse Jackson isn't exactly a person who should get the benefit of the doubt, as he has a history of insensitive remarks against Jews :

Also this
. Remember when he said that he wanted to cut Obama's nuts off? Class-act. The Obama camp didn't ask Jackson for help with their campaign, therefore he chooses to act like a spiteful child who was denied a fucking Bomb Pop.

And who could forget that in 1984, he referred to New York City as "Hymie-town". Hymie being a derogatory term for a Jew. It's derived from the stereotypical Jewish name Hyman (originally Chaim), commonly shortened to Hymie. You might remember the fictional Jewish gangster Hyman Roth from Godfather II. The slur Hymie shares its origin with the Irish Mick or Paddy, all of which descend from popular names.

So, Reverend Jesse Jackson. It's time for you to stop talking. Take a vow of silence, write a book, or eat some yogurt while taking a bath. Just go away for a few weeks, because old Jews don't need to be frightened any more than they are already. That shit trickles down to their grandkids, including me, who are exposed to enough shame and fear as it is.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got my hands full at the moment. I'm building a car that runs on Jewish guilt. An endless, renewable energy.

Shalom, bitch.

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