Saturday, September 6, 2008

Awkward Craigslist Phone Conversation

I just renewed my lease for another year, so I'll be staying in my Ukrainian Village apartment for awhile. That's alright, though, because I'm pretty happy here. I live by myself, it's a bargain for the location, and the neighborhood is quiet and crime-free. It was a no-brainer, really.

But ever since I signed a new lease, I've been looking around my place, figuring I should fix 'er up and get some new furniture. If I'm staying here for another year, I gots to be stylin' and comfortable. So, where does an unemployed padlock enthusiast go to get new crap? Craigslist, ya cunt!

I've been stalking and lurking my way around craigslist for a couch, end tables, a bookcase, and storage trunks. It's all very tedious and boring and a shit ton of people don't know how to spell. Half of the photos accompanying the item descriptions are blurrier than bigfoot photos, and I actually sent an e-mail to one of these people asking how much they wanted for their sasquatch. I got no reply.

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(via Lileah West)


I know when I'm dealing with a person who has their shit together, and so far, I've purchased an end table, a couch, and a storage cabinet all for $220. On the other hand, there are formidable idiots that have somehow escaped death all these years, and they're on craigslist in massive numbers.

I had a conversation with one of these people on the phone today . Here's how it went:
(not the real guy's photo, doi)

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2 comments:

Lee Kitzis said...

i scared the shit out of a couple customers at work today. for no reason the old man's face popped into my head. he started smacking his lips and i lost my shit. and it's not like you can explain that to them. "oh i'm sorry. i'm not crazy. you see i was just thinking of an old man smacking his lips..." then the mace comes.

Kid Douche said...

That's fucking great!

Update: You know what JDog Zilla said in response to my low ball offer?

"why did you even bother to write me back?"

To which I replied:
"You wouldn't understand, J-Dog. You just wouldn't understand."

I'm waiting to hear back from his highness.