Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Babe, I Love You So, Please Don't Go

Blog update:

You might be asking yourself, "What the hell is going on with the banner at the top of this site? Why is Monty fading? Is this the Great Tribulation, the Campaign of Armageddon, and the Second Coming of the Messiah all those Christian kooks have been blabbing about? Is Uncle Monty ascending into the heavens to eat Gourmet Pringles with Jeezuss forever?"


What's going on is the same thing that occurred in the documentary Back To The Future. He is fading just like the picture of the McFly clan. His future and our past is at stake. In order to stop his slow fade into non-existence, Monty has to create some of his patented, high-octane, off the Walt, awesome blog posts. Even half of the effort of what he's brought to the table already is enough to derail the ghost train. Mini-posts, a paragraph, dick-pics, ankle critiques; any of these will help. America's future is at risk.

For every day without a Monty's Baseball Soup post, the disintegration of his sweet soul will continue. I have conversed with the Ra on this matter

and he and I have devised a game plan that stops the atomic dispersion process. Every new post shall delay this tragic endgame for 3 days. After 3 days, the disbanding of Montgomery's matter will continue. Another post, another 3 days of being un-disappeared. This will go on until he is fully back in our realm, consulting the oracles of insanity and bloggin' bout it.

Honestly, does anybody want this to happen to America's Wisdom Grappler?
Poof! Dust...

Write to and plead with him to stop this from happening. Tell him why you like reading the inner workings of his brains. His email is Not kidding. I'd tell you his address, but I've never been to his house, and I'm not sure if he has a residence. We meet at a pet store to discuss business, and he always wears the same clothes.

I don't want to lose you, buddy. Reach deep down into your heart and pop out some Internet comfort food for all to enjoy. Or else...

No comments: