Sunday, September 14, 2008

I Have Laser-Like Focus When 6 to 7 Different Cold Medicines Vie For Control

Somehow, I've managed to get sick. At the end of summer. Awesome. My philosophy as far as colds are concerned is:

I mean:

I enjoy a cocktail of vitamins, instant soup, day/ny quil (time dependent), halls, sudafed, Chinese Socket Wrench Tea, coffee, cigarettes, and a healthy dose of paralysis.

I have to make an entry for our mascot. Only one. The One. It's my old dog. Cannonears Earthsbane.


See those mighty calves! They could shear wheat if they weren't busy whirling like ninja stars to protect our Great Nation, turning evildoers into so much olive loaf.


Those jaws of terror drool with the blood men and THIS:

-M0nty'5 B4s3b411 50up

Will have more later. I'm percolating.


I see about three or four points on the perspective. Is that seeing in four Dee?

I know I am and will be, dear god. Well, I mean by a 5 year old's standard, I've succeeded at life. In that I can have ice cream whenever I feel like it. Awesome.

My mentor and lifesavers, The California Raisins. If there was an extra month added to our calendar and I was born in said month, let's call it Bluptobember. I want the astrological representation to be The California Raisins.

I found my profile from Astrology Online!

California Raisin! About Your Sign...


They exist on a special plane of "cool". One born under the sign of these mystic fruits shows an innate fashion sense. These blessed people will always dress with a style thats always current without ever reading a GQ or Cosmo, though they will just to show off. The phrase "So two years ago" will be uttered with contempt and thinly veiled hatred. They have been known to murder for scuffed shoes. Having a Raisin friend will be more fun than you can imagine they are free-willed and strong minded. Just enjoy the ride!

Possible Health Concerns...

Due to excessive dancing they are known to have heel-spurs and get Urchin Wings.

  • Dancing
  • Hate
  • Dreams
  • Maps
  • You
  • Bad Shoes
  • The Uncool


Your ruling planet is Cool Spot


Some more interesting facts about your sign:

The animal associated with your sign is the HouseBoat.

The color of choice for Raisin is Turtle


On a lighter note...

I was hanging out with Aquaman and I realized one thing; he's kind of pervy. All he needs is a moustache to create the perfect rape persona.

I'm a really big fan of strange audio phenomena. Due to its surrounding nature, strange sounds are inherently claustrophobic. You can close your eyes, you can pound your ears, but you still feel it. You cannot escape. I guess I like to scare myself with my own fears.

The Bloop:
This is my favorite by far. It has even been absorbed by two things I love, Pop Culture (Cloverfield) and HP Lovecraft (Its been tapped by the Cthulu Mythos). When sped up, you hear its steady rising tone. Normal speed sounds like the siren song of a Demon mourning a divorce.


The Slow Down:
This is similar to The Bloop, only it goes down, and the recording sounds like ghost fucking. Human ears weren't meant to hear this.


The Wow! Signal:
One of the only (I believe) actual signals picked up by SETI. Named for the circle and WOW text written by the operator.


- Monty's Baseball Soupz

False ending jokes are great.

I was talking about shitty aspirations Friday with a guy outside of a bar. When I was 16, I wanted to work at Hot Topic. I wanted to get into shows despite the evil Agent Of Pop Culture essays detailing what the current topic was.

So, when I was searching for The Bloop (I forgot what it was called), I found some sweet news stories.

Sea Urchins make fat noises.

That's right. 20-30 decibels. Eating. The sound was originally a mystery. Then they discovered it was the Urchin's teeth scraping against rocks.

Mystery Blast!!!!!!!!!

Pretty Straight Forward.

Made this image and suffered the entire time. I hatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehate
those photoshopped fingers. It literally creeps me out so bad my head itches.
I'm a goddamned Artist.


1 comment:

Janet said...

ughghhghghg those fingers make me cry blood