I've always wanted to have a baby for strictly selfish reasons. It's like owning a fleshy entertainment vessel that leaks various fluids my wife has to clean up. He/she would ride dogs, swear at bill collectors over the phone, and swallow Christmas lights.
The best part about having a baby is that you get to name it whatever you want. And if I'm going to scar my child for life anyways, why not do it right off the bat, with a name that will be legally changed when the Department of Child Services takes it away.
A good way to check if a name has comic potential is by inserting it into the following sentences:
Baby name, clean your room!
Baby name, you call this a report card?
Go to sleep, baby name.
Mommy loves you, baby name, but daddy needs pills to love you.
Try them out with the names below.
Here's a list of baby names I'm considering:
1. Dracula
2. Detective Wong
3. Ragnarok
4. Predator Janitor
(via Uncyclopedia)
5. Drugs
(via Animal)
6. Typhoid Carrier
7. Ocho Bologna
8. Igloo Truth Ruth
9. Goiter Flap Zack
10. Pope Poe
11. Cigarettes
12. Slavery Funtime
13. Inspector Tanaka
(via imddesigner)
14. MC Warlock Vomit
15. Boils St. Nundumper
16. Pizza Party
Fatlip (vidcap above) from "What's Up Fatlip?" directed by Spike Jonze. (I used Daily Motion because the quality of the same video on Youtube was awful, so just full screen the snizz)
Friday, August 15, 2008
24 Baby Names
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