Friday, August 22, 2008

Coffee Line Problems, Penitentiary Bound

I was standing in line to get some coffee today at a local cafe. Two businessmen walked in and proceeded to rap loudly about their 401k and stock options. I responded by clenching my hands into fists, taking a deep breath, and telling myself that murder is a felony. That particular felony earns ya 8 years in the clink. I just saw the movie Penitentiary at Monty's Baseball Soup's place (awkward sentence), and didn't want to end up with a softened skull whilst serving time.

. Great long scene with a madman either foaming at the mouth or shaving, I can't tell which. He just wants to see people's asses. Rent it as soon as possible, if you're into glistening incarcerated men.

So I waited the obnoxious loudmouths out, and I got my coffee to go.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, that's the stuff Unkie Bri-Bri would kill a statue for.

And sure, it tasted way better because of my agony. But I still felt like this:

(via Hamburger Eyes)

This always makes me feel better. I'm completely serious. I just imagine what it might feel like to be a Russian child wearing a lion costume on the subway. This is one of my favorite "not funny" pictures.

Bonus scene!

From one of the best movies ever made, Five Easy Pieces. Jack Nicholson calmly blows his fuse while ordering an omelette and toast. This is probably the scene that got him the role of Jack Torrance in The Shining. When Stanley Kubrick saw this scene, he stood up in the theater and was like, "Sheeeeiiitt, peanut! That white boy goes from simmering anger to outright violence in point oh-shit seconds! That muffucka gotz to be my new nephew! Brain stem!"

Side note: Did you know that Stanley Kubrick was a member of the militant 70's group, the Blackface Panthers? It's a fact. Huge racist. More posts later tonight. I got way lots of time and many tricks up my bathrobe.

1 comment:

raz said...

can't believe i found this here! that kid's not russian, he's romanian, and i saw him a couple of times hanging around in the subway. it's a small world!