Monday, August 18, 2008

I Really Hate Ads, But I Love Jamie Caliri's Ads

As you may have noticed, the Kid Douche blog has added a new contributor, Monty's Baseball Soup. He and I will post every day, with Monty's Baseball Soup taking odd-numbered calendar days and Kid Douche (me) taking even numbered calendar days. This will help keep the Kid Douche blog fresh and crispy on the outside, with an uncooked salty center that will have you oozing wild rice down your leg. Making progress here, folks.

Read this article about the Chicago Air and Water Show written by Colin McMahon. He echoes my sentiments about the air show needing to be euthanized, only he gives better reasons for doing so. And he's a better writer than me. By a lot. And he probably has pinballs for ankles.

But I'd be alright with this old-timey air show

With all that out of the way, here's the main subject of this post, ads made by Jamie Caliri.

It's a rare occurrence when a commercial absolutely blows me away. Most of the time, ads make me think about the Vietnamese monk who set himself on fire, and how I could follow in his footsteps, like that guy in Chicago two years ago, who probably made his final decision after watching Reba for the first time. (Too dark?)

I don't even watch commercials anymore, thanks to my DVR, so it has become almost impossible for advertisers to get their jagged fangs into my flesh. But the other night, while watching the Cubs lose in real time, I saw this ad for United Airlines:

Sea Orchestra

It's some of the most intricate and well done stop-motion animation I've ever seen. And it has a magic mood about it, too. Blown away, I wanted to know more about who made it, so after some searching, I sussed out the director and company responsible for the ad, Jamie Caliri from Duck Studios. He's also responsible for this amazing United ad as well:


And the end credits for Lemony Snicket

My advice to ad companies is this: Pay an artist to make a beautiful short film, tastefully incorporate your logo at the end, and I will buy whatever you're selling. It's that simple. Make great spots, earn respect, get people interested in your company, and get paid.

That means no more talking dogs, men getting kicked in the balls, vapid "hot chicks" shilling beer, macho car ads, or obviously forced ethnic diversity in fast food ads. Also, if I ever, EVER, see Usher, P. Diddy, Fergie, Donald Trump, or anybody from The Hills in your commercial, I will never buy anything from your company ever again!

Sponsor an artist and create something with vision, cuntpickles! Trust me. You'll be able to walk into your house feeling justified, instead of feeling like a greasy Taiwanese boner with hair gel all over the head rest of your Miata.

Phew! I'm gonna go mellow out, now. Probably listen to some lite jazz, settle down on my bear-skin rug with a glass of white wine, and flip my balls around. You guys can mellow out with some more glorious stop-motion animation from Duck Studios.

The Blackheart Gang
: "Tale of How"

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